White Glove Love

You know how in the beginning of a relationship, they'll be giving you the butler treatment? Holding doors, walking you home, having your favorite chocolates ready. Once things get more comfortable, are you still getting the white glove treatment, or does the mask slip? Was it real?

On the other hand, how would you know white glove treatment if you don't give yourself the queenly treatment you deserve? 

Transcript

Patrice B: 0:43

Hello? Hello, hello, beautiful people. Welcome back to Tacos, tequila Therapy and the Tea with Your girl, Patrice B, the podcast where we take the shots, tell the truth, and do the damn work. Mm. Today we are talking about white glove. Love y'all, because baby love should not feel like a self checkout. Who the hell was that? I am talking about luxury, intentional, grown, consistent. Not that I'll do better when I feel like it. Energy handle me with care, not convenience. Let's get into it. Now what is white glove love? Now, y'all know I love a little catchy phrase, but let's break down this clearly. The white glove love to me is attention, follow through presence, care, not perfection, but presence. It's the difference between text me when you get home versus call me when you walk in so I know that you're safe. That's two different energies. It's not always about money or gifts. It's mindfulness. Seeing your person, hearing your person thinking about them before they even ask when you stay in a luxury hotel. The Butler does not wait for you to beg. Baby. Your favorite chocolates are already on a pillow. Your favorite water is already in the room. White glove love feels like intentional care, not a backup plan. Energy. Now, in the beginning. White glove love feels so good in the beginning. Everybody shows up with the white gloves on. The time is right. Communication is consistent. They remember and number motherfuckers be remembering the little things and you like, damn, oh, I am cared. I might be in love for real because that's how good it comes. But then time goes on. Suddenly you're asking yourself, was this white glove love or white glove convenience, or should we call it white glove adjacent energy? Lemme give you an example. Something as simple as walking someone to the door. When you first start dating someone, they walk you to the door, maybe even your car. They want to make sure that you get home safe. It didn't matter if it was 2:47 AM they wanted to know you were safe and then one day go and let yourself out. Go ahead and let yourself out, girl. Now, some women may feel like, oh, they trust me. This is comfort. They must be comfortable with me. Let's be honest. Sometimes he was never walking you out for you. He was walking you out because he didn't know your ass yet. He wanted to make sure you ain't steal nothing and his door got locked. Once he's comfortable, suddenly he ain't worried. Ain't getting up. I ain't walking into the door, ain't checking to see if you even got home, because what he did in the beginning wasn't coming from love. It was coming from caution. And that's the difference between white glove love and white glove convenience. why do people actually stop the shit? Why do they stop showing up? People love to blame the representative though. That's a big thing. Oh, their representative showed up. But the truth is people are who they are. Sometimes the reason behind their actions changes. The person starts out strong because they're curious. They want access, they wanna impress, they dunno. They don't even know you yet. But when the intention shifts, the behavior shifts and listen. People are allowed to change their mind. That's real butter. Um, you should not go from girlfriend to wife and lose the white glove service in the process. How do you get elevated in your life and end up receiving less care? Make that shit make sense. And today's word is coming with a little side of that stellar rosa black, because that's with a head and it's giving me a nice little bubbly, but a tame'cause. This is a tanky ass topic. But let me go back and dig in your shit. Now let's flip it. Let me ask you this. Are you giving yourself white glove love? I had to pause and take a sip on that because we always talk about what somebody else gives or doesn't give. But let me ask you, are you even giving a white glove love to yourself? Are you keeping the promises you've made to yourself? Are you showing up for yourself? Are you speaking softly to yourself? Are you setting boundaries? Are you loving yourself intentionally? Yet you out here wanting luxury treatment, but you giving yourself the microwave sloppy rush job version of love? If you don't even treat yourself with the white glove care, you won't recognize what someone else gives it to you. You won't even know how to receive it. You definitely won't know how to reciprocate it when it comes. But let's be real. Sometimes we just gotta stop giving out all this white glove love to them. Drop and run people. You know what I'm talking about? Them drop off types. They drop the package at your dorm and run. No signature, no intention, and no follow up. They are not the people that you give Butner level love to. If someone can't even give you basic human decency, they damn sure can't give you luxury sometimes. It's not that they don't care, they just don't have the, the capacity, the damn desire, the emotional maturity or the self-awareness, and for real, that's not even something you can fix, and for real potential is not enough. Don't beat everybody's damn emotional maid. Yes, being nurturing is beautiful until your ass is drained. Don't be. That. Support is amazing. It's wonderful until you're being used. Patience can be a beautiful thing. Sometimes I lack it. Until you're over-functioning, you want to have a partner, not a liability, a teammate, not a dependent white glove. Love does not mean you do everything. It means both people bring attention and intention, but just know that these standard start with you. People treat you the way you treat yourself when you love yourself deeply. Keeping up with your routines, keeping your boundaries, speak up for yourself. Allow yourself to receive love. You automatically raise the bar and raise your standards like. It's about being cared for properly. But before you go, here is my weekly affirmation for you. I am worthy of intentional, tender, consistent love, including from myself. Baby, you deserve to be handled with intention, not convenience with care, not chaos, with detail, and not delay. I really hope that you know that today. Thank you babies, for always spending your time with me. Taking sips, telling the truth, and doing the damn work. I am so grateful. And until next time, sip the tequila, spill the truth, do the damn work, and I will see you sooner than later.