Love Bombs & Broken Promises

Is it really chemistry, or is it chaos disguised as a situationship starter pack? Love bombing is when someone comes in hot, throwing compliments, gifts, and romantic gestures. If it's too intense at the beginning, it's pretty obvious to see the red flags. The subtle kind gets trickier.

Don't confuse attention for connection. 

Transcript

Patrice B: 0:43

Hey, hey, hey. Welcome back to Tacos, tequila Therapy and the tea, the podcast where we tell the truth. Take the shots and do the damn work. I am your host Patrice B. And today, baby, we are blowing a lid off. One of the most confusing, emotionally chaotic rollercoasters out there. Love bombs, broken promises, and the toxic tornado we keep calling chemistry. Now is it really chemistry or is it chaos disguised as a situation Ship starter pack. Let's talk about it. Baby. Buckle up because this one is about to get spicy, personal and also real. It's coming with a side of seller today. I kept it light. The topic was already hot enough. So first, let's start out. What is love bombing? Let's break it down. Love bombing is when someone comes in hot compliments you, gives you gifts, romantic gestures, all that. I've never felt this way before. Energy. It's fast as hell. It's intense. It's dreamy, honey. But behind the scenes it's not always about love. Sometimes it's about control. Well, we always think about love bombing in its extremes. Extreme love bombing probably looks like booking trips too early, talking marriage after two weeks, texting nonstop and getting mad if you don't respond immediately. All mass as I'm just caring. But the subtle kind, because there are some subtle ways that love bombing happens that we don't really think about. And this is where it just gets a little tricky because it's so subtle. I love how outspoken you are. And then later there it don't, they say that's too much or they don't like it. You're independent until they start guilt tripping you for working too late or not needing them. Trauma dumping too soon to create fake intimacy. Mirroring all your interests to perfectly. And I'm gonna tell you, I had a motherfucker that was willing to be like, Hey, what you doing? And I'm telling you, when they ain't got no friends and they trying to do all this you do, please go about your business saying, I need you after three dates and guilting you for needing space. Baby, that's not romance. That's a red flag wrapped in a love song. Now me and my dating Chronicles of being a professional dater, this is self-proclaimed, by the way, self-proclaimed professional dater. I've met my fair share of love, balms and breadcrumbs. And the ones who came on strong, only to step back later. Sidebar, my not so midget Midget, AKA. My son says something hilarious in a conversation about ghosting. He says he's not a ghoster, he's a step backer. I mean, not this motherfucker rebranding his toxic traits, because, you know, people really do not like the negative connotation put on things like ghosting or love bombing, so they gotta reword it or mask it as something else. But it was a real situation. My son really felt like he was a step backer, but people love bomb and then dip, and when you call it what it is, they really just don't like the label. I have folks say that they love my boldness only to later dim it. They don't like the fucking light, which is crazy as hell. They love my hustle and they complain about my damn schedule. That's when you realize it wasn't really you. They love. It was the fantasy of who you could be for them. And that happens because initially it looked good till I get on that damn nerves. But do some things like checking in with yourself. Let me say this loud and motherfuck clear. Please understand that intensity does not equal intimacy, and it may be feeling good and passionate and exciting in the beginning. Cons, consuming your time. But sometimes we confuse attention for connection. And when it really hits your ass, you are left wondering what the hell? Just it. I find myself having to ask that often. Like, what the fuck? How do we get here? I be looking around confused. It's crazy as hell. And then you have to sit around and you have to ask yourself, am I being seen or idealized? Is this a real damn connection? Or am I reacting to how much they need me? Do I feel flattered or do I feel safe? And that's a big one for me because I really need to feel safe in the connection. I get all the shits, oh, you're beautiful. You're this, you're that. But then they'll turn around and do things that make you feel unsafe in the connection. And then, do you have space for your boundaries? Or are you fucking suffocating? Are they consuming so much of you that you can't even think straight? And the reality is, is that you deserve consistency, not confusion. You deserve to be chosen in peace, not chased in chaos, because we have to think about how it really comes to you like, and those, those gay and lesbian connections, honey, you got the U-Haul. They moving in, they moving out. It happens so fast. It's intense. It's amazing. They're married and divorced within a year. It starts out from this intense connection that really lacked true intimacy. So before you fall for the fantasy, pause and reflect when it's real, it builds slowly and intentionally. It won't rush or overwhelm you. Love does not always. It doesn't always have to come wrapped in fireworks to be real. Shoot and baby butterflies sometimes that's just your damn anxiety in the lace front. Sit with that. As always, thank you for letting me sip and pour into you. I do not take your time lightly, of course, and I hope you pour back into yourself just as much. Until next time, stay growing, stay real, and stay unapologetic.