Amalgamation

Coming at you with my detox tea! In my healed and healing journey, the word that came to me a lot recently was "amalgamation." You know like how Taco Bell and KFC sometimes combine in one store, but their menus are still separate? It's like that. 

In business and relationships, what you want is amalgamation - not assimilation. You don't want to lose yourself in the combination. Collaboration and cooperation is great and necessary, but it needs to be about mutual growth, not dissolving identities.

Transcript

Speaker 3: 0:40

Welcome back to the most randomest podcast ever. Y'all, I'm telling y'all, I really enjoy talking to y'all and sharing what I make discoveries in a week. Be it when I'm talking to my clients, I'm talking to friends, like I'm reading something or my own little self, Healing meditations that I do throughout the week on different days and at a time when shit is crazy. She has been so crazy out here. lately that I've been trying to just look for the bright side of things and anybody who knows me, it's like, I'm always looking for the bright side because she can be crazy. Like who wants to be dealing with like all the negativity, right? So, y'all know I'm random, but since I spoke to y'all last, right, I done made some new discoveries of some Patrician, cause y'all know I be Patrician. So I have been in this stage of what's next. Like, where, where am I going? What's happening? You hit an age when you have done so much, you've accomplished so much, but then what? Right? And it's not always like you got to be busy, but there are levels to this shit. So even though I've been working in this healing, I've been thinking about business. Where does the business go from here? my meditations and I am a very spiritual woman, so I listen to the signs and synchronicities that the universe gives me because they be telling you some shit. They be like, hey girl, hey, and I be like, hey, and I'm listening and we be having a conversation and I'm like, hey, I get it. This is what it is. It's showing me things. It's enlightening, but I really have been paying attention to the signs around me. Got this? So, today's, tea, enlightening tea, is coming with, I made a detox tea, because I'm ready to go through this detox and trying to get set up for it. So, Get set up for the detox to come, but in a recent moment of my what's next question, a word came across my path and the word is amalgamation. Now, anybody who also knows me is that when I was younger, I had a little list. And so certain words will mess you up. This word had come up before, but I didn't pay attention to it like I did this time. And I was like, I couldn't say it before. Now I can. Like, I mean, before I would just stumble over it and I was like, ah, but now I'm like, what is this? It keeps like, Hey, now I conduct a lot of shit in my life like business because I am a numbers girl. I'm a hustler I do what I do, but everything runs like a business for me and sometimes I found that in relationships That's how I would like to function But I am and I hope everybody out here believes that they are the shit. I am the shit for Patrice I'm my own kind of thing, right? I'm my own entity. And amalgamation is a word that means it's the result of combining or uniting. And a lot of times this word is used in business is because it's when two separate entities come together to make. another entity or a bigger entity where we grow and we still become one. It's almost like, you know, the KFC taco bell. They, you still could get your chicken. You can still get a taco, but you know, you're at the same drive thru and they came together. And that's just the simplest form. Y'all don't judge me. I just try to make it, you know, plain for the people that are on the same page. But the word itself has been like, Hmm. Because that's, that's where the new space that I have been in, in terms of growth, is that you want to remain who you are while you combine with someone else to become a better whole, uplifting, uniting. And I want that in the business because I'm also finding that working in a suite right now, being in the beauty industry, everybody is so freaking separated. And it's like, you could walk past somebody and not even know that they a stylist or a beauty professional or whatever they may do. People don't speak. Some people aren't pleasant. It's weird as fuck. I don't even know why they like this. But we've become so separated, but it also keeps us stagnant. But when I was thinking about it with the business and coming up with some ideas of what's next, amalgamation is here. Like, I want to be my own entity and I want to combine with somebody else and then we're doing something great to get to the next level. Well, a little later in the day, even though that, that, that whole conversation sparked some things that my brain is churning business is about to do something completely different. Right? But when we, when we apply that word to, relationships, And as we grow, I'm noticing and that you hear people who have been in these long term relationships or marriages for so long, and then they are like parting or questioning, should we be together? And imagine those people who have been married for more than half of their lives, or in this relationship for more than half of their lives, and it doesn't matter how old they are, just period, old or young, and they've been in these long term relationships, but as you grow, you learn more about yourself, and so does your partner, but then where you are, you have to then reconnect to make that whole relationship. Continue to grow because I mean shoot if I got if I would have gotten married back when I got engaged at 24 Shit, I ain't the same person It'd be like allow me to reintroduce myself because I am not patrice at 24 When I was engaged, I am not the same person. So it would have to be like, who am I now? What are we doing? And sometimes when we're in the change, and I was saying this to a client, when we are in the season of shift, right? So I'm in this, I want to do something different. Rediscovering me. Who is Patrice outside of being mom, business, hairstylist, teacher, whatever that is. Who is she now? What would we like to do in this stage of our lives? of my life. And I guess when we get to those stages and you are with someone, that question is, is because I'm bored. I want you to do what I do. You need to do what you do. Why can't I be who I am? You be who you are and we go be great. Those are the connections that I feel grow and are amazing. But when I think about, I would like an amalgamation type of relationship for myself, you know, being single and this is a wonderful season of my life. I've realized I want to be, I want somebody to appreciate Patrisse for Patrisse because I am, you know, a whole verb, Patrisse be Patrisse and I want to be able to respect and appreciate them for being their own entity. And then we come together, and we, it'll be amazing. We got a whole KFC Taco Bell drive thru. We gon be the shit! But why don't connections work like that? Why don't we even see it like that? Like, I don't want to be like someone else. I ain't never been that type of person either. Not even from a kid. I've never been like nobody else. Can't nobody be like me. And Why is it that we can't just come together, be who we are, and proceed forward? Now, I remember dating someone who was really focused on the demise of, like, all of their friends um, relationships. And would mention things like, well, yeah, you know, a friend of mine, he, he about ready to divorce his wife because she's messy. And he is all about being a clean neat freak, and I was like, and the way that my friend at the time would talk about it, it was like, you know, they were definitely siding with the husband on this, like, you know, sometimes you gotta roll out, and I said, well, this ain't no new shit. He knew this before he married her. There wasn't no surprise. And now it's her fault for being her? Or he wants things to be different? But it's her fault? He buried her. And the look at me was like, and I see, like, she does her thing and why don't he just be great if he be the cleaner and maybe she's the shopper. But instead of respecting her for the entity that she is and allow his strong suits to take over where he is strong, he'd rather dissolve the union. Because it's such a problem, and it's like, what kind of shit is that? You know, like, if you love me, boo, like, love me for me. You married me, and so maybe I don't understand it. I ain't even married either, because some people are getting your damn nerves when you got a union, you're in the same house. I don't know, I ain't never been married, but, you know, that's me from the outside. That seems like it could be so much simpler in our communication and our energy. But it was funny as to how they would focus on that. Like, when you look at it from the outside, what is it that prevents her from listening to his needs? Is it the communication? What are they doing? I hope they work it out. But him telling you ain't going to change the situation. What do you do with that? But in that little minor rant, it made me think about some connections where I know that I'm a bit shiny, and shiny in personality because we've already talked about it. I'm going to tell y'all something since I last chatted with y'all. Several people was like, I thought you was at least 5'7 and I was like, I am. All in my mind, because you know I'm coming tall, and I do, and this isn't, and it's funny, but somebody's like, you're mine, you ain't that tall, I say it in my mind. I'm not that tall, but I do believe that I am big in personality and in height, so when you look at me, it is, I am taller than what the numbers say. Because I believe in me. I am me. But I have had connections with some people. Because I'm shiny, it attracts people who may not be able to handle that kind of light. So they want to dim it. And transform it into something else. And I was sitting here thinking about some things of, like, the past. And, you know how you have some people that give you those little backwards ass compliments? Where they, they make it like it's a compliment, but really it's not. Or it's a compliment, but it is to make you kind of think. So, I remember having this connection, and oh my gosh, I used to be like, oh, my baby just loves it when I'm just natural. And sometimes I could be looking, you know, I had some crackhead waves where my, my hair could be all over the place. And at that time, my baby used to be like, I love it when your hair wild, or I love that you don't have to wear a lot of makeup or that you don't. And you, at one point you'd be like, dang, that's such a nice compliment. Thanks babes for appreciating me and my crackhead days. But then it was like. Hmm, when I got dressed up or we are going out or is something we're going to the compliments didn't come in the same and that was just one side of the relationship or the connection at that time that, you know, when you look back on it. It was so many other things of that person was not willing to have an amalgamation type of union. They wanted more of an acquisition. You wanted to dissolve this company over here. You didn't like this light. It was too shiny. I needed to be dull so it can fit in my box and make me feel safe instead of trusting the process. But the compliments came in a way to as long as you look crazy as shit, which maybe they thought that if you look crazy, maybe people will stay away. But it wasn't always about the look. It was really about my personality and my energy that drew people to me, which would happen regardless of what I looked like. Because that, you know, my hair could be crazy, but that doesn't change Patrisse. And I tell clients this all the time, like, it doesn't matter if you are tall, short, fat, skinny, thicker, smaller, short hair, long hair, or even bald. Because when you have a woman who has been sick or she, she loses her hair, we feel like we lose us. And that's only one part, but it is not us as a whole. Who are you on the inside that allows you to stand tall, be your own separate entity, doesn't matter the circumstances, or if you serving chicken or tacos, you can go head forward and be great. They could be chicken, you could be tacos, and we going forward. And that could be, you know, with a little lettuce, a little sour cream, maybe a little salsa, maybe none of that. You might like it plain, but it's still a goddamn taco. You could be great and stand next to the chicken and still get chosen. But we sometimes feel like we lose ourselves because we're in connections that's more of an acquisition than it is an amalgamation. It's not coming together to unite, to be better. You want to dissolve who I am so that you can shine. You can be better. And you got to think about that. What type of business partner are you? Are you one who prefers an acquisition? Or you want to be one that's an amalgamation? You want to come together, unite, and grow. And every time I think about like, when this week when I was thinking about, And what made me think about the word in terms of relationship, it went back to Pretty Woman. Now, I have several of my friends and my cousins, this is like their favorite movie. And it is one that really made me think about the word amalgamation. Because, is it Richard Gere? Whatever his name is. You know the man on the Pretty Woman. And right now that's not even important, but you know the guy. His job was to acquire companies. They chewed them up and spit them out. They acquired them and dissolved them. They didn't always grow them or make them different, but when she came along she gave him a new way of thinking about helping a company versus taking over and dissolving it. And it made me think about, are you a Stucky? Do you want to be Stucky in a relationship? Are you that person that If you don't do it like me, it's not worthy, it's not good enough. And I've realized that I have been in friendships and connections where, you know, I'm standing tall in this business over here. Ten toes in this shit. Even when I be dead wrong, y'all, I'm in it. But I'm standing in my power. And instead of coming together, they would rather dissolve in it when they can't. They are uncomfortable. And I look back and they had to go because that wasn't the connection that we needed. That I needed, I shouldn't even say we, that I needed. They were looking to dissolve the company and I was trying to grow a company. And sometimes we never even think about what are we looking for. Because sometimes we look for people who are like us, but why can't they be like them and we appreciate them for who they are. I was having a conversation with a client and, we, we, we get to these, these conversations because some of the stuff I talked to y'all about is happening in a salon. It ain't always gossiping about, you know, the new Tyler Perry movie. but, We were talking about finding who we are as she is a mom, the kids are really doing their thing. You know, she's been married for 25 years or in a relationship with her husband and married, whatever the connection, 25 years. And now she's trying to really find out who she is. Because she's been all of these other things for so long now. It's like, what do I want now that I got all this extra time on my hands? The boys are doing their thing and what? And we were having this conversation, which just happened to be very enlightening for her as well, because I just gave her a different perspective on how we grow. And I talked to her about the word amalgamation. I think I probably have exposed people to this word like over the last couple weeks several times because it's amazing at how it could be used in our life. And with all that being said in this rant of the week, being in business, personal friendships, are you a Stucky? Would you prefer to take over and dissolve? Are you dealing with somebody who prefers to take over and minimize who you are? Or are you gonna stand ten toes in you and be a separate entity, and they are a separate entity, and you can come together and move forward? Because I believe this is something that we need in our Black community as well. We don't do that. We do not come together and unite. Not in business. Half of the time, we're barely doing it in our relationships, but I feel like it's something that we probably need to incorporate in our lives. Stay firm, stay strong in who you are. You got this. And until next time, you know, I appreciate y'all for listening, sharing. I hope it, in my rant, it gave you something to think about. But I'ma keep sharing my mess with y'all because who knows? You know, I might be helping somebody, but I so appreciate you and thank you for all of your time. Until next time.