Knowing Your Worth

How do you see yourself? The real you, not the things you do for others or the you that you think others see.

This conversation has been coming up in my salon and at home. When was the last time you really took a look and owned who you really are? Including the good, the bad, the ugly.  Do you ever boast on your accomplishments? Why or why not?

Transcript

Patrice B: 0:41

Welcome back. I hope all is well with you. I'm so happy to be back with you guys today. I wanted to share something that I've had to talk to someone. I've been in this conversation with some of my clients and also, well, like my kids. And it's just really making me think about like, when we're in this space of where we, where we're coming from and where we're going to. And I just wanted to share that with you guys. So what I'm finding is, is that, Um, How do we view ourselves? Now, mind you, this viewpoint can be crazy as hell, might be truthful, maybe not, but how do you view yourself? like, for real, if you ask me, I'm tall as hell, like I am tall. And anybody who argues with me, you go ahead and be great. But I know me, right? Even though I'm not very tall, I'm told in personality and in life. So I feel taller than I am. But it's been in that space of I want people to really love and know themselves. And I try to really encourage the women that I style in the salon to like, really like, Hey girl, what up? Because the style I can see is kind of based on what they view themselves as. but it was interesting because I asked my son this question. We went out to dinner and I was like, Hey son, and I'm always random. And at this point, the kids know like mama is random as hell. But I had to pose it to my 13 year old to say, Hey son, how do you view yourself? And in this moment, man, he looked at me like, what? But he was taken back by like, how does he answer? I'm like, yeah, how do you view yourself? he was struggling with the answer. It's like, he looked like he had some thoughts, but he didn't know quite how to answer it. Like what answer is she looking for? And I say to him like, look, this is your time to boast. Whatever you feel about yourself, let me know. I just want to know how do you view yourself? I said, do you consider yourself tall or handsome? And he goes, that's subjective. And I was like, I didn't say how somebody else viewed you. I'm talking about how you view you. And I gave him the example of how tall I am. And I'm going to tell y'all, he looked at me like I was that shit crazy. But you know what? While he stands taller than me right now, I'm great. Can't nobody tell me otherwise, right? but he was struggling with this answer and I felt like it was just things that he really wanted to say that he didn't. But I have one in this, at the same conversation with one of my good, good girlfriends and her answer immediately went into her titles of a mom, a survivor. And I had to say to her, like, how do you view yourself outside of that? We're talking about you, not your, your accolades. But just how you view you. And she had to take a moment because she immediately answered with the things that she does for others. And in both situations, it made them think. And it's at this point in life. It's like, how do we view ourselves? Cause that's how we show up for us and the way I had broken it down to my son, my mother. Always, always, always as a kid said, be a leader, not a follower, be a leader, not a follower. And I was like, Oh, like, I get it. Right. Don't do as others do. But in this journey of life, healing, learning, loving what I realized. And I'm so glad I was able to articulate, be a leader, not a follower to my son in a different way was that if you do not know you, you will spend your life trying to find who you are through others. And it's then how they view you as what we take on. And I ain't even gonna lie. And I'm sure I'm not the only one out here that has met somebody with the most tainted view of the world. Some people who have a tainted view of themselves, how can they really tell you or not necessarily tell you, but if you went on their view, you can be fucked up out here. because you don't know you for you. Now my son views me as he was like confident and, and I was like, well, I own that. I am confident in me. I'm confident in my good, my bad and the ugly. Cause I'm gonna tell y'all, like I told y'all before, I got them sides, penitentiary, petty and positive and the passionate side. You pick one and you know who you get, but they all are still me. And I'm aware of me, but in life we don't even boast at all. We don't really, you know what I'm saying? We can go to a job interview and we are talking about the things that we can do for them, but how awesome we really are. Sometimes we minimize boasting. Um, those who might have several degrees, doctorates, besides the title behind your name in some conversations, we choose not to talk about ourselves in a matter of how we view ourselves in appreciation. And I want you guys to sit with that. Like why not? Why not tell someone who the fuck you are? So they get a feel for who you are, because I feel like if we don't, we end up in relationships where we're allowing a relationship to define us. Well, what is it that they want? What is it that they need? And I will become that. And in this conversation, I just wanted my son to know because I had to break it down to him with the conversation of being a leader, not a follower, is that. Son, your friendships, your connections will begin to mirror how you are viewing yourself. And I want you to know you for you own it, boast, live in it and be your best self. Be your most confident self. And at this stage, I mean. And life in the space that we are. You have so many people putting out things that they want others to see. We see it on our timelines, right? What's real, what's fake. And a lot of it is fake because we look for the outside accolades. But sometimes you, I got telling you guys before, this is a new level of owning your shit on you. And your past traumas, hurts, or mistakes does not define you or make you a bad person. It's a person who made several mistakes or maybe at a moment in their life did not know their value or their worth or knew who they were. And we got to take those moments to own and know ourselves. I want you to. I hope that you do because we have some very amazing people but then on the flip side you have those who could be shitty as hell and think they're great or they may have some good qualities but own your good your bad and your ugly but know you for you Know when, yeah, I could probably be a little bit more sensitive. But yet I love hard, however, that may be, but know who you are and know your worth. Because once my son really thought about his answers, it really hit him to be very clear about who he was and how he viewed himself and described himself. I was like, yes. I love it. Cause he said I'm very smart. I'm creative. He said he was handsome. I was like, thank you cause you are cute. You are your mama's child. But, He was like, I can't be indecisive. He's like, sometimes I can't even choose what we going to have for dinner when you ask. And I was like, I know the fact that he even choosing dinner is also crazy, but don't judge me. But sometimes I can't quite figure it out either. So we in the same boat. I hope that you listening know who you are, value you and know your worth. And that's my spiel for this week. And you know what, as always y'all, I swear I'm so grateful. I'm so grateful. That you had options and you took your time to listen to me until next time Let's see you repeat