Perspective

Perspective: a particular attitude or way of regarding something. Today, I want to talk about our perspective when dealing with hard things in life. For the most part, I try to stay on the side of positivity and possibility because I’ve found that seeing the bright light helps you through the dark times.

Everyone has their own moments of darkness, grief, loss, loneliness, or whatever it may be, but how we approach the situation is changed by our perspective and how we view life. When you’re traveling through a dark tunnel and you can’t see the light at the end, what if you are your own light illuminating your path? What can you learn from this, without beating yourself up?

I offer 1-to-1 training to help you find the systems, train the people, make it work and provide the best customer service. Send me a DM on Instagram to learn more! https://www.instagram.com/patricestar

Join me, follow, and share. Remember, you got options - thank you for choosing The Tea with P!

Find out more about Patrice's courses and faves on her website https://www.thedesignstudiomd.com/

Music credit: LA Nightlife by Full Frontal Audio
A Subito Media production

Transcript

Patrice B: 0:41

Hello all and welcome back. Welcome back and welcome back. Oh, it's a beautiful day in the neighborhood. Today's sip of the day is a lemon ginger tea. So I'm gonna apologize first for the man behind the voice. I have been enjoying all the good weather we've had out here in the city and the weather switched up. And so my allergies was like, hey girl. You thought you was cute out there enjoying that sun, enjoying all that wonderful weather. And I can't seem to shake the raspiness. So I'm gonna apologize ahead of time, but I definitely wanted to share some tea as I sip on some lemon ginger tea to help just soothe whatever is happening right now. But I want to talk to you guys today about perspective and how we. Um, view things, right? I have a friend of mine who thought that I was all sunshine and rainbows because for the most part, I do try to stay in a space of positivity and possibilities because I've had a life where I've seen some things that may not quite go your way, right? And I found seeing the bright light helped me get through. some really dark times and trust me, I know that I'm not the only one. Everybody has had a moment of darkness, whatever it may be. Is it grief? Could it be some emotional things? Could it be loneliness, loss of a loved one, whatever that may be, but sometimes how we view life and our perspective. It changes how we approach the situation. And when you think about just simple definition of perspective, it's a particular attitude or way of regarding something. And when I read that, the first thing I think of in all of my positive Patty energy is choices. You have a choice. We all do because you know, my favorite line is I got options and I do have options as the way I approach situations and I know that I can be, Ooh, I can be spicy. I ain't even gonna lie. The full Scorpio will come out in a minute in a heartbeat. So I try to stick on the positive side of things versus that the penitentiary and petty side, because I don't know if y'all have it, but I got about four people up in here, but It's the way that we think about life and how we view it, even when it is dealing us the most darkest of times, but can we see the light, right? And things that I have been trying to do lately in my life of changing how I even start my day out is just starting out with some meditation. All right. Taking a moment to sit with my thoughts. Now I'm gonna be honest. I don't know if it's everybody out there, but for me, sometimes I don't even like it. I'd be like, Oh girl, that was you. Those thoughts. Who are you? Who, why are you even thinking like this? And I'm actually having these conversations with myself because sometimes I do have to check myself when I'm in that meditation of what are my thoughts of the day? What, how am I feeling and where is it coming from? Cause I know you guys have probably had people that you talk to and like, you ever like hear their thoughts about a scenario and be like, how did you get there? Like how did that, how did you get such a negative perspective on this situation? Like, how did you go so far left? I have had relationships where I've had to look at my partner and be like, what in, how did you gather that? Fucked up scenario from this situation. How did you go that far down the rabbit hole, especially without a conversation with the person involved, but it's always perspective. But I know that people's experiences in life gives them a perspective on different situations just based on past experiences. But if you ever sit back and think about like a past experience that didn't go so well, And then you look at it and be like, what went wrong? And we can always look at the other person as to what they did wrong, but what part did we play in it? Because the viewpoint that I have is my perspective on what happened, actually happened, not what I made up, right? Not what, what could have happened, what might've happened, but what really happened. And sometimes we look at others as we worry about their energy, but it's our perspective on the situation that's creating the narrative of how it flows for us. And the other person doesn't have a clue as to what goes on inside your head, but what you're thinking promotes growth where it can create a stagnant situation. And so I've been trying to talk to clients and friends on just perspective. How are you looking at that? Because the way that we think can really help us grow. And I know it's hard sometimes to see the positive in a situation, or I'm not even going to use the word positive, but maybe a bright light. And I'm just like, what could I get from this? Even those things that are considered a lesson. What did I need to learn from this? Because I am the common denominator in it. What can I get from this? And that's not beating myself up. It may just be something that I need to see. Something that I need to experience. And learn from so that I can grow. But being in a space of growth and meditation, it allows me to bounce back and not stay in the dark spaces. I lost my mom when I was 14 years old and I can tell you guys, like anybody who knows me, like I love, love, love that lady. I love my mom, but losing her so young was very difficult, but I was like in a state of shock. I felt like for years and. I was in a situation where you felt like I was just like alone by myself, even though you seem to have family, but nobody really was there for you. Like, what does that look like? Right. And I was just like in my head all the time and lost. Things that I remember, like being in school, because I was in high school at this point, I would go to school and I was a cheerleader, and I was the captain of the cheerleading squad, and I always thought that she has the most spirit, right? Because school was like a constant for me. It was easy, it was, It was fun. I was around people. I couldn't think about what I was missing or what I was lacking. I would just go and enjoy the day and don't play at a game. I would be doing 25 jumps at a time because it was just so fun and I enjoyed it so much. But I had one teacher that was, Oh, at that point in my life, this lady was, Ooh, Amazing. It was much needed. She was like a mom for me. And she helped me out in so many ways. So many ways I admired this woman. But I had the opportunity when I got out of school to take her out for lunch. I just had to. I must take you to lunch. And Ms. Loretta Williams is her name, like I will never forget it. It was a spicy lady, dressed nice, short haircut, and always gave you the say. She was going to give it to you up front, honest, and the truth. And I had to tell her, I for how she just impacted my life and helped me out at a time where I just needed that energy. And she looked at me with the straightest face and said, you're thanking me? I should be thanking you. cause she knew what I was going through at that time. losing my mom, just, you know, living with friends here and there and just trying to figure out life. And she said, do you know that every day you came to school with a smile? And I remember her saying some days I just wonder how she did it. How did you do it? There wasn't a day you wasn't smiling like nobody would have known what was actually going on in my life. Even when my mom was sick, you would not have known what was happening to me at that moment to me or around me because it more so happened to my mom and I was experiencing things with my mom. Perspective, but when she said that I looked at her and I'm thinking like, what, like things I didn't even know, but at that time I was still appreciating life because I experienced a loss and knew what it was like to have lost someone. So I had to appreciate every day to the fullest, but in a dark time, those moments got me through. But fast forward, right, it was so many years ago, I didn't know how to channel that energy and keep it. It was times that I would fall into dark spaces, like I can't figure it out because yes, I was a teenager literally growing up and I got to figure it out with minimal guidance. I had people around me, but you know, it was delicate. How do you tell somebody else's child what to do when you're really not their parent? Um, but as I've gotten older, all of those lessons, all of those things that I was experiencing in a dark time helped me to be the positive person that I am today. and the positive person that I aspire to be, cause trust and believe that spice will be out. And I fall into some spaces where I question life and everything in it. But those experiences shaped my perspective. And my appreciation for life. when I'm in the salon with women and I'm doing their hair, we, I'm trying to give the more positive perspective when they are looking at everything negative from, Oh, I need to get some sleep. Look at the dark circles. Oh, my face is fat. Oh, I've gained some weight. Just when I turned them around, but their hair is absolutely beautiful. And it's perspective. What a woman says, like. Do you think this will look good on me? And I'm like, girl, yes. And I know you can't see it, but I'm telling you, you would. It's all about how you view you and it could work, right? And I get to use my positive perspective every day as I get to make women beautiful. I make women's day every day, every day, someone's smiling or they're happy when they leave. And that is a blessing to be able to do what I love, love what I do and share it. But your perspective can create resilience and a bounce back when it seems hard. And so in this, therapy session of You know, your tacos, tequila therapy, and the tea with me is more therapy today. And I just would love to encourage you to check your perspective. Your daily life, check your perspective. How do you start out with it? Because if you focus on the illness, you focus on the lack. You stay in the lack. I had a friend who was going through chemo for her cancer and I was just there trying to be, you know, a bright light, understanding how rough it can be experiencing it with my mom. But it was like she was there and you know, she cried a little and. And she's experiencing it and you can't take that away from anyone like that is an experience it's theirs, right? But I just tried to give her a positive perspective when I found out like she had so many treatments And at the end of her treatments, they were saying that she could be and should be cancer free And I looked at her and I said girl why we crying Did you just, they, they told you there is a light at the end of this tunnel and we mad, we better look at this differently, right? Yes, it's happening to you, but you got the light. It's a guaranteed light at the end of this tunnel. So how about we focus on the light? And as I say that, it makes me think about a conversation I just had. I'm in the salon with a guest who lost her husband. Now, Oh, and I tell you, this guest is so bright and she is bright. Every time I encounter her, her smile is bright. Her cheeks are bright. Her energy is bright. And we talked about, as I was doing her hair and you're preparing for services, because I'm in people's lives with so many different things, births, deaths, marriages, divorces, whatever that may be. But we were talking and And my advice to her was just to find peace. It's going to be difficult, but if you can be at peace with the loss of her husband. And I was like, yeah, the tunnel may be dark, but there's a light at the end of the tunnel. And she was like, man, if I could just. turn some light on as I go through just so I can see the path and you know, get through it. And I had to pause and it hit me. And I had to say to her, because this is a true statement, and probably have to probably one of the ways that we have to view that dark tunnel to get to the light. And I said to her is that if you hadn't realized what you just said is that you, as you move. Through the tunnel, you are the light that lights the way, your movement, your perspective lights the way and gets you through the dark tunnel. So in perspective today, I would like for you guys to be the light in your dark tunnel and I just want you to keep moving because it's all about perspective. How do you view that tunnel? But if your steps are illuminated along the way, you're going to be fine. You know, some people say that bad things happen to good people. And I think that unfortunate things happen to people. But in the end, it all works out. But what aids in it working out is your perspective. Your perspective on your connections, your relationships, your jobs, taking those moments and having a perspective, a positive perspective on the way that we view things. And you will be amazed at how life turns around for you. And I know that's easier said than done. Sometimes I know trying to see the light and the brightness in a situation is hard. But I focus on the good, like the loss of my mom. I didn't focus on the bad, I focused on the positive of what she brought to my life. The light that she is, was, and probably forever will be for me. But there is always a light at the end of the tunnel. And in the words of the late Eric. If there is a solution, there is no problem. It's all about perspective. I would love to hear how you guys, you know, get through. With your perspective, do you meditate? Are you a walker runner? Any suggestions? Cause I'm always looking for it. I'm willing to share with others as well. Options because we need options on our positivity and how we see things. And as always, I know you guys got options and you chose to spend it with your girl again this week. I am grateful as always. And thank you for dealing with the man behind the voice. As I sip on my lemon ginger tea, I ain't come with no drinks today. Just, just some, some tea, kept it simple. But this, I feel like the drink matches the energy. Be the light in the dark and I hope you guys have an amazing day on purpose. Don't forget, like, follow, subscribe, share with your friends. Until next time.